Thursday, August 19, 2010

"Teabagger:" a working definition

I had been asked why I use the term 'teabagger.' It is obviously a slang term that has become part of the political vernacular, kind of like the verb, 'swiftboat' (which means: to smear). To some, it has some weird sexual connotation which is certainly unintended in my usage. So, for the record and for reference, I'd like to quote, which has provided some excellent definitions for the modern political animal I often refer to as a 'teabagger.'



A misinformed, right-wing corporate media consumer who often fails to understand that Republicans represent a corrupt plutocracy that steals from the middle class by taxing labor and profiting from corporate tax subsidies.

A teabagger also often fails to acknowledge that George W. Bush and his neo-conservative minions perpetrated one of the boldest and most egregious executive power grabs in the history of the United States. Furthermore, teabaggers mistakenly continue to blame a newly elected President Obama for all that ails the United States of America, based on a grossly flawed perception of reality (including latent racial prejudice) and despite the fact the U.S. economy collapsed on the previous administration's watch.

Teabaggers are also known to base their misguided, right-wing-media-inspired beliefs about President Obama on stupid conspiracy theories about totalitarian takeovers, FEMA camps, etc., despite the fact these very same theories have been circulating around on the Internet for years, and were originally ascribed to neo-conservative cabalists at a time when Barack Obama had not even entered national politics. Teabaggers also are known to be particularly paranoid, xenophobic and intolerant, especially with regard to immigrants and anyone who isn't white.

Additionally, teabaggers generally echo stupid myths about entitlement spending (it actually only accounts for about 1% of federal budget spending), have no idea that most poor people in America are not lazy, actually do work and don't want to be on welfare, and have no idea what socialism actually means or that socialist reform in this country is actually what allowed a middle class to flourish and ultimately make the U.S. one of the most prosperous nations in human history.

Furthermore, teabaggers incorrectly equate socialism with Stalinism, think a system that rewards greed (capitalism) is the divine preference (despite Gospel evidence to the contrary), and are shameless champions of a misguided belief in American exceptionalism. Teabaggers also fail to recognize the inherently unpatriotic nature of their failed every-man-for-himself ideology that ultimately vilifies anyone who supports public policy aimed at reaching out to fellow Americans in need. They celebrate an exploitative corporatocracy (holy creator of jobs, blah blah blah) while denigrating the little guy for being "weak."

Interestingly, teabaggers uphold an immoral, morbidly obese, twice divorced, draft-dodging, college dropout and known drug addict as their de facto leader, and are even known to advocate burning books. Of course, teabaggers fail to recognize the blatant hypocrisy within the GOP and tend to oversimplify all political debate and social issues, much like their pseudo-intellectual, fat-ass leader.

Finally, incredibly, teabaggers fail to recognize the hysterical double entendre associated with their proudly adopted teabag moniker.

Every village has its idiots, of course, but it's sad when citizens of any nation allow themselves to be whipped into a frenzy en masse by a state-run propaganda machine masquerading as a legitimate, fair, balanced and independent news organization. Teabaggers are right to believe the future of the U.S.A. is in jeopardy, but sadly they have not yet correctly identified the real enemy. Perhaps when teabaggers finally grow up and mature into thinking adults, they will see the right-leaning power establishment for the oppressive and cunning beast that it is.

Teabagger: We don't care that George Bush tripled the deficit and lied us into a war. The new administration only cut taxes for 90% of the population... fascists. Let's go throw some Lipton tea bags into a fountain!


some shorter defintions:


A whining fool shouting loudly for liberty but not willing to pay the bill.
After most American workers saw more money in their paycheck due to the lower tax rate, the teabaggers at Fox News railed against high taxes, but did not discuss how much Jesus hated hypocrisy.


A conservative activist who is so ignorant that they protest against tax cuts (that benefit them) by throwing tea into a river.


A republican who:

1. Protests taxation WITH representation (just because you disagree with it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist)

2. Thinks colonial Americans were prophetic, just because they lived during an earlier time period

3. Falsely claims that the 2009 Teabagging Festival was "bipartisan"

4. Agrees with Joe the Plumber on most major issues

5. Agrees with Glenn Beck, but can't explain exactly what he or they stand for

6. Doesn't understand Constitutional law

7. Doesn't understand what democracy is

8. Blindly uses the words "socialism" and "communism" without knowing what the fuck they mean

9. claims not to be a republican

10. Criticizes democrats, even though their own party has been in office for the past 8 years

11. Thinks the GOP needs to be "more conservative" to get more votes

12. Will listen to every high school dropout before hearing the opinion of ONE intellectual

13. Believes that Fox News is "fair and balanced"

14. Claims to be independent, but certainly doesn't have any liberal beliefs, and listens to guest speakers from the CPAC conference

15. Is a closet anarchist/Paultard

16. Thrives on a mob mentality

17. Prides himself/herself on doing everything he/she has made fun of when Bush was in office

18. Says things like "Where's MY bailout" without understanding how the economy works

19. Like Glenn Beck, has an extremely high word-to-meaning ratio

20. Uses TONS of words from the GOPAC memos of 1990

21. Thinks Russia is still a "threat" to the U.S.

22. Thinks China is still a "threat" to the U.S.

23. Thinks Cuba is still a "threat" to the U.S.

24. Thinks Europeans hate living in Europe

25. Doesn't believe Obama's actual birth certificate is real, but has no problems with McCain's ties to the Iran-Contra Affair or the Keating Five

26. Would rather have the GOP tell them what to think than raise taxes on the wealthiest Americans from 36% to 39%

27. Doesn't realize that they actually benefit from the stimulus package

28. Is only teabagging because Sean Hannity told them to

29. Says they like books by Ayn Rand, but cannot correctly pronounce her name

30. Gets their information from Rush Limbaugh, Fox News, Google searches, YouTube videos, partisan blogs, and Wikipedia


Anonymous said...

How do my balls taste, Willie?


William said...

Obviously you have had some personal experience engaging in such sexual acts with men. This is an alternate meaning that I do not refer to, but obviously it has meaning to you.

Sorry, I have a girlfriend.

The Sanity Inspector said...

Goodness, how alarmed some people get when the peasants start answering back!

It's comforting to some, I'm sure, to think of the Tea Party movement as merely a few dozen suave con men leading around tens of thousands of racist billy-bobs. And when the movement subsides, as all movements do, no doubt many opportunists will have used it to scramble up the greased pole. "Talk conservative, vote liberal" is a winning strategy, and its cheat never grows stale.

But simple good governance, simple respect for the American people, demands that their concerns be heard, and taken seriously, and not simply sneered aside. Our national finances are over the falls. Liberals are in a multi-culti comas when it comes to terrorism ("Akbar the network engineer is a super guy, therefore Islam is a religion of peace"). The borders are open, and illegals are sucking the public services and law enforcement agencies dry in many places. These are all issues that deserve serious attention--not just a nudge-wink chuckle among the anchors of Morning Joe.

A real deficit hawk said...

If you want to avoid reckless spending that destroys the country, don't vote Republican. They're the party of hypocrites. They talk about how dire a condition our country is in because of a spend spend spend mindset but they neglect to mention that for every dollar a Democrat has added to the national debt a Republican has added three.